Thursday, November 20, 2008

Swim away and pray!

God has been teaching me a helpful parenting strategy. A good friend and I are trying to keep one another accountable in parenting and training in love and gentleness. I often feel very short tempered, anxious and quick to get angry with my kids. I wonder if I can possibly endure one more little person saying, "MOMMA". Even if my words are calm( which they are not always) there can be this underlying tone of feeling annoyed. My kids pick up on this very quickly. I see them copying me and treating each other in ways that make me realize they are like little sponges soaking up my bad habits.

The Christian adoption counselor we are seeing, gave us this example to help kids deal with anger. (I am applying it to myself, too) Think of little fish in a swimming area of a lake. When you reach down to catch one they swim away, they don't reach out and attack you. So, when you feel upset, annoyed, angry.........just swim away and pray.

I have added to this some advice from a friend. I have begun an anger management basket. In this basket I have a journal of verses and quotes that I go to when I am "swimming away". My sweet sister just gave me a gift from a conference she attended. It is a kneeling pad with a bible verse on it that is for praying on your knees. It is a tangible reminder to me to pray even if I don't always get down on my knees. I usually try and go to this spot in our bedroom and begin by taking a few deep breaths to lower my heart rate! Ha! I start to read Bible verses in my journal pertaining to anger, parenting, graciousness.......etc... and then I pray. Most days I am pleading with the Lord to take away my anger and give me the ability to love my children (when they don't seem so lovable) with Christ's love. Here are some of the verses in my journal so far. I hope to keep an on going collection.

Galatians 6:1 " Brothers, if anyone is caught in any spiritual transgression you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself lest you too be tempted."

Here is a quote by Matthew Henry about this verse, "Many needful reproofs lose their efficacy by being given in wrath; but when they are managed with calmness and tenderness, and appear to proceed from sincere affection and concern for the welfare of those whom they are given, they are likely to make a due impression."

Proverbs 16:24 "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body."

Lord, I cannot be this type person on my own strength. I need your grace so often in a day. Please help me to come to you when I am struggling rather than try to "pull up my boot straps" and take care of things on my own. You are so loving to give us your word, the Bible, to help us fight against our self- centeredness. Your refinement is a gift of grace!

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Thanks for being so open about this! Very convicting for me personally.